I wanted to create a space where both I and you could unwind a bit. We spend so much time trying to be every thing to every body, but where do we go to get better, train and improve. Because I don’t know about you, but I DID NOT wake up like this. And by the way, no one does. All the people we admire for their God given talent and accomplishments I have come to realize have figured out one thing: how to PRACTICE. How to learn, work hard and get better at doing what they do. The high performers are that way because they train harder than anyone.
Every day I wake up, I try to be a better mother, wife, entrepreneur, coach and friend. This requires creativity, authenticity, dedication and the ability to self critique. My hope is to share with you the reality of what the practice really looks like, so we have a place to go to stop pretending we’re perfect, and embrace our humanness, which also (thankfully) comes with the ability to grow, learn, change and get really fucking good at ANYTHING we put our mind to. No matter what our current skill level is today.
Myself as a writer/blogger is itself a practice for me, as I sometimes struggle with how to say what I want to say, pick myself apart, etc. However, I pledge to continue my practice as a testimony to how I myself will evolve over this next year. I appreciate you on the journey with me, and hope that we can learn and grow along the way. So, take off your shoes and let’s go!
We all want to be authentic, right? It sounds real good on paper (like most things), but the truth is, sometimes authenticity is a hard choice. If you’re anything like me, I’m really good at getting a read on people and their needs, and figuring out exactly how I should be to please them and win their approval.
Like, real good.
And when you’re real good at something like that, it turns into a bit of a habit. Which it was for me for a long time. Authenticity is RISK. It means that not everyone will like you, because, hey, that’s the price.
And that price for me for a long time was too high to pay, but then I kind of made a “He’s Just Not That Into You” kind of shift.
If there are people who don’t “get” me, appreciate me, understand me, honor me. Isn’t it better to weed these fools out sooner rather than later?
But then I have to face the fact that as much as I love that damn Beyonce song, I am SO not flawless. But that doesn’t mean I want YOU to know that shit. And showing my true self means also exposing my weaknesses and flaws.
But here’s the thing. Authenticity is WORTH IT. Showing up in the world every day as who you really are becomes a bit of an addiction. And yes, occasionally there’s that job interview you won’t get or that boy (or girl) that won’t call back because they can’t handle/deal with all of you. But at the end of the day, having choked down my fair share of resentment and bitterness from the constant tap dance that comes with pleasing others, it’s kinda worth it. Best show the haters and nay sayers the door now. Less dishes to clean up later.
So here are some things I maintain for myself to stay in touch with the gloriously “unflawless”, but perfect anyway Kisha:
1. Got really freaking clear about my VALUES.
These puppies are the emotions you value above all else. My top 3? Growth. Courage. “I Matter” (Authenticity + My Voice Matters). It means when that just “play your part” side of me creeps up, I remember that my voice is important and that I must have the courage to speak it.
2. Constantly affirm who I AM.
Whether it be my daily affirmation in my 5 Minute Journal ore just remembering what I’m grateful for that day, I make sure to remind myself constantly of who I am and what’s important to me. This daily ritual strengthens my overall resolve to be the woman I want to be.
3. Act on instinct.
I’ve spent a great deal of my life repressing some of my natural impulses for fear they won’t be “normal” or accepted. So I now deliberately practice following those still small voice impulses I have from time to time. Whether it be spontaneously checking in on a client who’s crossed my mind a few times or going to the doctor preemptively because I feel something is “off”. When the thought hits me, I act. Just as an affirmation to myself
What do you do to keep yourself true and courageous? Let me know.
My favorite Books, Apps, Resources, Movies, Lifehacks to help your practice. Maybe yours too…
1. The Five Minute Journal – Gratitude Practice, Happiness Practice, Focus & Reflection Practice all in ONE. Need I say more??
2. Mindset by Carol Dweck, Phd. — Are you in a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? Dr. Dweck breaks down the critical differences in your ability to learn and ENJOY THE PROCESS of becoming something new. It’s pretty much a bible if you (like me) are a recurring perfectionist…
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